Buguese's Test
by TL-chan
Summary: My 2nd Spider Riders fic. Aqune gets tired of Buguese using the mask whenever he wants to get his way. It's payback time. Slight BugueseAqune
1. Aqune's Scheme

Notes: I decided to use the Japanese names. I know I based my other fic off the dub names, but that's because I felt that it would make sense more people. I prefer the Japanese version. It's a bit different from the English, and that will be my inspiration for future writing. That being said, this occurs after episode 26. It's probably AU, but wasn't meant to be taken seriously anyhow. For those who don't know, it's noteworthy that "Aa!" is a brand of Japanese crazy glue, which has amusing commercials.

After their most recent failure, the Insectors returned to their base. Simply irritated, Buguese went and picked up a dart to throw at his Hunter dartboard. To his disappointment though, there wasn't a visible space left on the board. Every ounce of it had been covered in darts from the last time he had lost to Hunter. Snarling in irritation, he smashed the dart in half and walked away. It wasn't as if he didn't have better things to do.

"Aqune!" he called. Hearing how annoyed Buguese sounded, Aqune made sure to answer him fairly quickly.

"W-what is it?" she asked nervously.

"I need your mask," he replied, still sounding highly annoyed. Aqune removed it and held it out towards him.

"Well… I only have half of it," she replied.

"That's fine," said Buguese. "I made sure to pick up the rest of it before we left." Buguese took the half of the mask that Aqune had. He then pulled out the rest of it, as well as a bottle of Aa! Crazy glue and started putting the pieces together. "I'm really getting tired of having to do this," he complained. Try not to get this broken in the future."

"Yes. As you wish, Buguese," said Aqune unenthusiastically. "Actually, wait! I have a better idea. How about we do a little experiment?"

"An experiment?! What are you talking about?" Buguese questioned, half annoyed and half curious.

"It's simple," said Aqune. "The easiest way to prevent my mask from getting broken is for me to not wear it at all. I challenge you to go three whole days without using it at all. Even if it seems like a necessity at the moment, I won't wear it."

"And what if I refuse?" Buguese asked.

"Then it proves you're a hopeless idiot," said Aqune. "There are other ways that you can get what you want besides manipulation. You could try asking nicely for me to slice Hunter's head off."

"I'm not a fool!" shouted Buguese. "You likely wouldn't do that even with your mask on."

"I know," said Aqune. "However…" she paused. "Portia, do it now!" Portia used her web to grab the mask and the bottle of crazy glue from Buguese. "Portia will be holding these for you. If you ever want to see them again, you'll try my experiment. If you win, not only will you get your items back, but I'll reward you with a kiss in return. However, if you try to steal them back, I'll force you to listen to all the gritty details of my affairs with Grasshop."

"What? What have you been doing with HIM?! Buguese asked in shock.

"Trust me, you don't want to know about it," Aqune responded evilly.

"You're probably right," said Buguese, cringing. "Alright fine. I'll play," Buguese consented. "That reward is mine!"


	2. Art Lesson

Buguese quickly decided to go about his business, which he soon discovered really wasn't much. If Lord Mantid didn't have anything for him to do then his only real duty was standing around. Buguese tended to contemplate about things when he stood around and now was no different. His subject at the moment was where the heck Aqune got such an idea from. It just wasn't like her. She never seemed to have a problem with obeying him before. Well… except when it came to Hunter.

"Fine!" decided Buguese. "I'll have to focus on figuring out Aqune later. I just remembered that I still must clean my dartboard." He angrily sulked into the room where he kept it and clasped his hand around a dart. He tugged, but had quite a bit of difficulty pulling it out. "I suppose I shouldn't have shoved these in so hard," he admitted. "Argh! I don't have the time to do this all by myself. Oh, Aqune!"

"What would you like?" Aqune asked once she arrived.

"I need you to help me pull out these darts that I jammed into the wall," said Buguese. "Um… uh… please?"

"See, Buguese. You asked nicely, so I'll help you," replied Aqune. She then went to pull on one. "These really are tight!" she shouted. "I guess I'll have to try a different method." Aqune summoned the Oracle's power and the darts fell right out. She stared blankly at the image that was revealed underneath. "You drew that?" she asked.

"Of course I did, my dear," said Buguese. "It's not like I have a camera, but even if I did, I wouldn't waste film on Hunter Steele!"

"So that's who it's supposed to be," responded Aqune. "I guess if I squint a little, it does look like him."

"You don't like it?!" Buguese asked, dejected.

"It's not that," said Aqune. "It's just that the drawing's a little… well it's bad! I'm sorry, Master.

"Why?! Why?!" yelled Buguese. "I have failed at drawing. Worst of all, there's a shortage of paper in our world now that the trees no longer grow. The Oracle will pay!"

"Relax, please," Aqune consoled. "We're not that short on paper. I can help you draw another one. It can be compensation for asking me so nicely to help you with your dartboard. I'll be right back with paper and pencils."

Aqune did intend to bring Buguese the drawing supplies, but she had another stop to make on the way. She needed to speak with Grasshop. It wasn't too difficult to find him.

"Grasshop," she began. "If you have the time, I need you to do a favor for me."

"Me? Of course I can do it. I can do anything for you. With my brilliant mind, if something has to be made, it will be done quickly and efficiently. Of course, I am an elite Insector, one of the Big Four. I…"

"Alright already!" yelled Aqune. "Sorry Grasshop. I'm just pressed for time. Here's what I need." She whispered something to Grasshop quickly. Soon after, Aqune returned.

"Ah! You're back," said Buguese. "Wonderful. Now we can make a new dartboard. I'm sure your art will be beautiful, as you are."

"Alright," said Aqune, not quite sure how to respond. "Now let's start off by figuring out how to make this to scale. In your initial drawing, one eye was much bigger than the other."

"I never knew drawing took so much precision," commented Buguese.

Aqune nodded. "It's like… um… serving Mantid," decided Aqune. "It takes effort and focus. However, it also takes compassion. If you don't put care and patience into your drawing it will look like that awful picture of Hunter you had earlier."

"I see," said Buguese. "This is intriguing," he thought to himself. "I still can't see why Aqune came up with this scheme, but I'm certainly enjoying all this extra time with her."

"Remember, Master. I told you to focus!" Aqune yelled. "His head isn't supposed to be triangular."


	3. The Problem with Portia

Somehow, day one had passed. Buguese was surprised by just how simple it was. The hardest part was surviving Aqune's drawing lessons. She was a tough critic. It really didn't matter to Buguese if his drawing looked precisely like Hunter. It was going to become full of holes anyway. Buguese began pacing around the base, looking for something to do. He hoped greatly that Mantid had new orders for him. He made his way to Mantid's room.

"Oh, great Mantid," announced Buguese. "I am deeply sorry if I am imposing on your greatness right now."

"You are not," said Mantid. "Just speak! What do you want?"

"What do I want?" asked Buguese. "Why, I want nothing but to serve you. I was wondering if you had anything in mind for me to do for you."

"Not at this time," said Mantid. "I will, of course need you to crush the Spider Riders, but first I'd like to investigate further on their plans to travel to Numa."

"As you wish Mantid," said Buguese. "I shall wait."

Buguese trudged out of the room in disappointment. It took him a moment to notice Aqune running toward him in panic.

"Buguese, what have you done!?" she yelled.

"What do you mean?" Buguese asked.

"You hurt Portia!" declared Aqune. "It seems you did try to steal the mask and glue back after all."

"I swear to you that I did not do such a thing," denied Buguese.

"I have little reason to believe you," said Aqune. "However, the items are at least still with her. Why don't we investigate further? Come with me."

"If I had the mask, it would be so much easier to snap some logic into her," Buguese thought to himself. He headed off to Portia's location.

"Aqune…" said Portia weakly.

"See, Buguese? Look at how hurt she is! It seems as if Portia has developed a fever from working so hard to defend your things."

"That doesn't prove I did anything," argued Buguese, getting ready to take out the mask. "Oh, right," he said. "It's gone because that annoying spider has it."

"See! The way you talk about Portia proves that you never cared for her! Okay, time for that Grasshop tale. It began on a cool winter night…"

"No, make it stop!" yelled Buguese. "I have a solution to help save Portia. Can't you use the Oracle to heal her?"

"Certainly. I can use it to ease her pain, but I couldn't heal the emotional scars that you've probably given her. I have an idea though."

"Another idea?!" shouted Buguese.

"Don't worry," said Aqune. "It's not another challenge. After I heal Portia, I'd just like you to spend some time with her. Maybe the two of you can become closer. Also, if you avoid the easy temptation to steal the mask and crazy glue then it will prove to me that you're innocent."

"Alright," said Buguese. "Wait, where are you going? Mask or not, you're still technically my subordinate."

"Of course I'll come back and forth periodically to check on my spider, but something important came up," replied Aqune. She healed Portia and then walked off.

Aqune went over to a small control panel and pressed a button.

"So Grasshop's invention worked," she stated. "Good. Now I can watch Buguese and Portia through this monitor, thanks to Grasshop's hidden cameras.

She sighed.

"I feel bad for having Portia pretend to be sick, but it's the only way I can teach Buiguese a lesson. When I came to Grasshop for advice on how to get Buguese to show affection the right way, I was surprised by what an elaborate and useful idea he came up with. I really hope this keeps working."

Aqune looked through the monitor and laughed to herself. Buguese was petting Portia, and seemed to be cringing heavily while doing it. "He really has no clue how to care for a battle spider. They're not like kittens," she stated. "At least he's trying though."


	4. The Final Stand

The third day had arrived. Buguese was alive, somehow. He had never intended to baby-sit for a spider. Even worse, what he had expected to be an hour at most of spider-sitting turned out to be a few more minutes here and a few more minutes there until he was doing it for six hours. He hoped to never see a spider again. Portia was surprisingly demanding of him, as if she was intentionally trying to get him more irritated.

"This is ridiculous!" Buguese exclaimed. "Aqune will realize sooner or later that she has to obey me. It was never part of the deal that she would give me orders. Worst of all, she seems to be enjoying this. I need to get that stupid mask back, but the only ways to do that now are to kill her precious spider or to somehow convince her to return it. If I touch Portia now, I might not live to tell about it. Therefore, I'm forced to go with choice two. Aqune has been going on about how I have to be compassionate. Well then I'll show her compassionate and I'll compassionately order her to never blackmail me again. I would like to receive my prize, so I'll have to work carefully. It's time to begin my phase of the plan."

"Buguese, I have a very important job for you," announced Aqune cheerfully, as soon as Buguese turned around. "Please, you have to help me. Otherwise you'll fail the challenge!"

"Yes master, what is it? I will get to it immediately," responded Buguese.

"What?" shouted Aqune. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Oh I'm just perfect, Master," said Buguese sweetly. "Now what was your task, or should I say my task?"

"Uh… I wanted you to clean and polish my Oracle shrine," answered Aqune in confusion.

"NEV-" started Buguese. "I mean, I'll get to it right away darling, I mean Master."

Buguese went to the Oracle shrine and began scrubbing.

"Worthless Oracle! I wish you would just continue to be buried by dust. Then maybe you'd suffocate to death and just die out forever. However, I need you to surrender to me the blasted sun. At least if you rot in dust now, you'll get to experience the horrors of utter darkness. However, you probably wouldn't care because you don't need anything to grow. You can probably sustain yourself by feeding on my displeasure. You're evil! Sadistic! Worthless!"

Aqune had been watching this from her monitor and entered the room.

"Buguese, don't pick on the Oracle!" she ordered. "I never really needed this cleaned, but I wanted to test you again. I'll give you one last chance to finish without saying one cruel thing to her.

"Of course," replied Buguese. "Oracle-sama, you are the most glorious thing ever. I favor you over even Mantid."

"What's wrong with you?" questioned Aqune. "You've been acting creepy today. I never said you had to praise the Oracle."

"Oh but I love the Oracle now!" declared Buguese. "And also, I threw out my Hunter dartboard last night. I hope that maybe he and I can become friends. Since I figured that wouldn't be enough of a sign of my eternal loyalty to you, l went out and bought you diamond jewelry and even your own personal throne. Here they are."

"Just why?!" Aqune yelled. "What are you trying to do, scare me? Well it's working really well. Make it stop!"

"Excellent!" said Buguese. "My plan worked. Your sudden change of attitude worried me into becoming your virtual slave, so I assumed that if I changed my attitude you might be terrified enough to give up."

"Then you're plan didn't work," stated Aqune. "I'm not that scared. Besides, it's already the third day. You know, you're right for being unhappy about this. I went too far with this whole power reversal thing. I just wanted you to be a little nicer… although I didn't mean for you to be so creepy about it. Oh and maybe I also wanted to try bossing you around. I'm tired of you using that stupid mask whenever you're afraid I'll disobey you. If I didn't plan to serve the Insectors, I would ignore your orders more often. Admittedly though, this was partially Grasshop's idea."

"Right… Grasshop!" said Buguese angrily. "He's been particularly obnoxious lately. Everything makes sense now. Only he would've invented a scheme like this. He's corrupted you! I've lost! Why did this happen?!"

"Actually, you haven't lost yet," corrected Aqune. "If you can last until the end of today-"

"I know that!" Buguese interrupted. "I didn't mean I lost the contest. It's the general principal of the thing. I was just outdone by Grasshop of all people. I'll be going now." He went over to sit in the corner, not planning to move until the day was over.

"Experiment failed," Aqune commented to herself. "I guess Buguese is a hopeless brickhead. Oh well. It was at least fun and technically, he didn't steal the things yet. I feel bad for him."

Aqune began to walk toward her brooding master.

"Cheer up," she whispered before bending over and gently kissing him on the cheek. "After all, I was generous enough to stick with this plan and not the other one Grasshop came up with."

Buguese turned around in horror, not wanting to know.


End file.
